* Homoerotic Hallowe'en *
Eep. Okay, so as we all know most of these are backdated. I'm not going to lie... pretty much all of them are. But here we are at hallowe'en.
And what a hallowe'en it was.
Okay, so the day started with Mike picking Toni and I up in his mega hot car. Well it really started with Toni and I doing our make up together in the bathroom and dancing about while pilfering food. Mmm rolls.
Mike dropped us off at temple square and we found some sister missionaries to show us some awesome stuff. Which they did. Sister Udu and sister Platt. Sister Platt knew Pauline.
Anyway... they showed us the meeting house... somewhere i'd never been before. Then we took pictures of the temple and of other stuff surrounding. We were taking pictures of Joseph and Emma outside the church offices.
Toni told me that Mike had told her that if we went in and asked to go to the top and then explained we were from Scotland and asked if there was 'anybody' in that we might get to meet general authorities.
So, after hijacking a flower float we went inside and I said 'we want to go to the top' It was a defining moment in my life. So there we were... two tour guides and me and Toni in an elevator on our way to the top. I'd never gotten to the top so fast. Woop.
So, they showed us the views and other such points from the top which was pretty ace. i could see where my apartment kind of was and we could see the U and the University stadium and the tour guides - which had increased to three because our accents just attract people - pointed out brigham young's grave and also the 'this is the place' monument.
Crazy.
We went back downstairs after I hinted at seeing a general authority and getting no where, and the tour guides showed us a large painting with Jesus' foot that moves... then the lady who was new and dressed all in pink took toni and i outside to the fountain, which she explained represented faith. She took our picture with it. She was lovely. She then helped us locate a place that would sell hallowe'en things.
We then ate in the lion house... or maybe we did that before the church offices... I don't know. At some point we ate in the lion house. And we begged the lady to give us a stamp, and then we filled in the customer satisfaction leaflet. So funny.
We then boosted on the trax to a magical wonderful place to find hallowe'en stuff... to no avail. We then hit up the T-mobile store where I got a new US sim card for Toni and I to use while I waited for Annie's phone to arrive - I figured I could use the sim card in Annie's phone once it got there.
We found a UPS store in the same area and I went in to post my mum's birthday card. The man behind the desk after I asked him if I could send normal mail to the UK from there asked me 'how do you want to send it.' I looked at him, then thought about it, and I glanced and Toni and she said 'Don't you dare say it.' and I replied 'How did you know I was going to say 'by post'. Haha. Seriously though, what other answer did he want to 'how do you want to send it?' I would like it sent by plane, train, owl, actually no, hand delivered by you. Seriously. There are only so many normal answers to that question. By Post is the best one.
Then, after ordering Jamba juice, Mike picked us up and brought us to his house, where he told us he would 1. hook us up with a hallowe'en party and 2. give us a car so we could go and do whatever we wanted. Which was totally nice of him.
Little did we know that we would soon be on our way in the car he had been driving us about in. He sent us off with a GPS which would soon be named Delilah, a list of addresses, the phone number of someone called Brett and me in the driver seat.
All was going to plan until I tried to drive the car and couldn't get it from park to reverse. Luckily Martsy (Mike's wife) was on call to tell me to push the brake in as I moved the gear stick... are they still called gear sticks even although they aren't really gears?
Anyway... we were off looking for a hallowe'en store... me... sweating at the wheel... stressed beyond all reason... and in rush hour traffic... not just any traffic... rush hour UTAH traffic.
We missed an exit about a million times. I had no idea where we were... we were going South that's all I knew, and I had no idea what we were doing or where we were going... and we didn't really know how to use the GPS. I was terrified being on the wrong side of the car, on the wrong side of the road, in THAT car. It was huge. It was beautiful... it became my baby. By the end I loved that car... but right now I was hating it. Antoinette kept talking about her bum prickling with heat and I was more concerned about trying to get off the freeway. I thought she was mental... it turns out the car has heated seats. Ha. She wasn't mental. Because my seat was fine we figured she was mental.
Mike had fired in some kind of co-ordinates to the GPS which brought us to the parking lot of a gym. We laughed about that for a long time. Was he hinting at something? We used their restroom and asked them for directions while many people sweated in the background.
We finally found our way to a costume place which resulted in the purchase of some moustaches and furry pink hats.
We, somehow, got back to Maggie and Dave's gaff where the quick transformation of Vikki and Toni occured. Into... dun dun dun... Evil Siamese Doll Twins with Guns and Mousers... Heck yeah.
We were on the road again... and on our way to somewhere called the sky box or was that the sky bar... no one knew.. not even us. We had two different addresses and only one marcus who rescued us from the parking lot of a hotel. We followed him to where we were meant to be parked and went for it. We were accompanied, on our walk, by a drunken old man who was telling us that he wasn't dressing up for hallowe'en. We got on to that conversation when I started to entertain his ramblings by asking him why he wasn't dressed up. Oh me.
The character of Brett that Mike had been phoning all day and who had entrusted the responsibility of finding us a party, kept calling the new utah number, which, because it was my phone, would just cut out, or I would make toni answer it. We met him eventually under the details of 'I'm wearing leopard print tights'... attractive. Toni, Marcus and I were just generally bewildered by the whole set up. This was a church run party (organised by the frat and sorority lds chapters) that was full to the brim of people. I couldn't believe it or understand it. The music was totally RnB and Rap nonsense.... how stereotypical and it honestly felt like we had been dropped in to some skeazy sleazy teen movie, with people bumping and grinding all over the place. To make things worse, however, being a church party and all, most of the 'rubbing up against each other dancing nonsense' was same gender orientated. It was, I swear the most homoerotic hallowe'en I might have ever witnessed.
It was almost like a music video or something, with less class and little more clothing... just a little though. Brett kept appearing and disappearing before he left with his friends. We were just left, with the demand of 'Let me see your tootsie roll' What kind of song is that? What does it even mean?
When we decided to leave, after I bumped in to my friend Jake, we were messing about on the top of the gateway centre. Marcus decided to see how many cartwheels he could do in a row. Unfortunately he made about 1.5 until he cartwheeled into a wall. Oh my gosh. eep. ouch.
We then boosted on up to Dee's to eat their infamous cheese fries. Although, because we were both still jet legged, Toni and I wolfed massive breakfasts. Oh yes... so hungry. Then Farris called us telling us he was in a police car pulling someone over. That was the last we heard of Farris in Utah.
Our waiter in Dee's was dressed like a dog, but he looked like he had a black eye and was just kind of strange mannered and creepy. There was a fat girl in the corner with some ugly tattoos that Marcus told us he'd gone to school with. They left moments before we did and they were still outside when we walked past them.
Marcus and the girl exchanged a few words during which we decided she was being a bitch and we proceeded to talk about her in the car. Marcus had left the parking lot by this time. We pulled out and continued to talk about her, and three blocks down the street I realised what mistake I was making and pulled over 6 lanes in to the far right hand side of the road.
I had been driving for three blocks on the wrong side of the road. That could have been disasterous. Luckily it wasn't. Thank goodness... seriously.
So we made it back to Taylorsville to end the evening of ugly baggy pink dresses and crazy dancing.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 10:49 PM
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* The Utah Boob Job *
I almost cried when I saw Toni in the morning. She and her missionary Mike showed up for us to hang about and look for hallowe'en things. Neither one of us could believe that we were both in America together. It was like we were just hanging out at home. So weird.
We totally debated lots of things we could be for hallowe'en, so many awesome awesome ones.
We were looking in random hallowe'en stores then Mike dropped us off at a mall to go make up shopping and what not. We wandered in to a Hot Topic and prior to that time we had been discussing the many fake boobs we kept seeing in the shopping mall. It was so strange.
Toni was buying a random T-shirt and while at the desk, making casual conversation, she said to the two shop assisstants 'there's a lot of fake boobs in Utah' at which point she looked at both of their chests and said 'oh but not you two' I tried to rescue the conversation by asking about hallowe'en costume ideas and telling them about my michael jackson triumph. It was one of those cringing moments that you aren't sure what to do about it.
We left quite quickly and laughed so much afterwards. The more we thought about it the more we realised we had implied that the two shop assisstants were so small chested that they couldn't even pretend to have fake boobs.
We went on the hunt for ice cream and had to cross a four lane road which was so funny because we just held hands and ran only looking one way... then when we were three lanes over I turned and saw a stampede of traffic about to smack us from the right. We had forgotten to look both ways haha. We survived thankfully. We really don't know how to cross the road that is for sure.
MIke picked us up, after we waited about 40 minutes for him in the hall way of Nordstroms. We sat on each end about 20 feet apart having random conversation that people would walk through and wonder what we were saying. They would either think we were talking to ourselves or just talking inappropriately. We didn't move only for people needing help with buggies and prams.
Mike then took us to his house... massive house where we met his cute cute family and then he looked up Marcus McBride's address because Mike also lived in bountiful. We went to Cafe Rio for dinner (after unsuccessfully finding marcus home) and neither Toni nor I could understand the crazy shouting mexican lady... she was so erratic and I have no idea what I asked for, but it ended up being something I really didn't want. It was quite plain and Toni ended up with everything on hers. it made Mike laugh a lot. It made me laugh. Too good food though. But all i wanted was a burrito was beans rice and cheese and sour cream.
We then we to see Marcus again and he was in. It was the best. Two little girls answered the door, and Toni made me go first and she hid. The two girls opened the door and I asked them if Marcus was in.
They said yes... then just stared at me. I was like... go get him then haha. But then I suppose they answered what I wanted. It was up to me to elaborate I supppose. Marcus came to the door and his reaction was astounding. 'Oh Shut Up' he yelled as he ran and gave us both one of those lifting proper hugs of properness. It was so good.
We sat and chatted for a while and it turned out to be his neice's and mother's birthday. How rude are we. I felt bad. But we then got home to Mike's parents house in Taylorsville and then slept until Hallowe'en.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 8:38 PM
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* T - day *
Toni comes today... today today today.
I went swimming, it only took me about 45 minutes to work out how to get into the pool and how to pay. Because I don't go to the university they are totally anal about who they let in, so i had to get a guest pass then find my way to the locker rooms and pool. Madness.
I, finally got in the pool and wasn't even trying but yet my times significantly improved. It was brilliant. When I got out the pool though I asked the life guard how long the pool was... turns out it's only 25 yards... not 25 meters. DECEIVED!
I then wandered down to Wild Oats the organic supermarket.. it's a bit like Pekhams but bigger. It was brilliant.
On the checkout was a cute looking guy who had a sleeve tattoo. I instantly recognised it and him as the guy from the Caribou gig. That gig seemed to set the standard of people. Two people I noticed I bumped in to again. Brilliant.
I chatted with him briefly he was so cute. Number 11 guy. His head was all I could see between Dan on one side and the Drummer on the other. How funny.
I then wandered back to my flat to await the arrival of Toni.
She called from Chicago airport and told me she had missed her connection and she would just see me in the morning :(
So I fired in to the ol' Ayn Rand. I am determined to have it finished before I go home.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 8:27 PM
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* The Coincidence of Friends *
It was church... because it's Sunday. Turns out that my ward starts at 1pm... talk about drawing the long straw of lie-ins. Oh yeah. I slept for ages.
Then went on up to church. I got there so early because of the Trax times and my new found time keeping skills. I was sitting in sacrament waiting for it to start and the ward choir were rehearsing. It was an interesting little place. Church in the institute building strange strange.
When sacrament started the first speaker drove nails through my face. I wanted to gouge out my eyes... seriously. She was wasting air. There are trees dying and the global warming going on and she was taking 35 breathes to say one word. I wanted to batter her. Sincerly. When someone starts a talk with 'So, i'm red because i'm nervous not because I went to the tanning salon' you know it will be bad. She then proceeded to talk about all the things that made her mad in her life and how people would spread rumours about her and how she had to forgive people for cutting her off and not leaving a good tip. AHHHH.
I then wandered up to Sunday school and rather than sitting on my own i decided to sit at the end of a row with two hot guys on it. One of them started talking to me - good ol' Rob D - so I moved up and sat with them and chatted with them and the two girls they were with. It turns out the one I was next to was at the Caribou gig... sincerly. He was the guy with the long hair and the hat that I was sitting next to during the support band. I had so wanted to talk to him that night as well. How funny. After church I went to lunch with the four of them to the Californian Pizza Kitchen or something. I totally ordered wrong and ended up ordering garlic eep. Stupid head. Tiffany (one of the girls) was from California and so so nice... and her friend was from Provo and also nice but I think a little shy, i'm not sure... either she was shy or she hated me... one or the other.
Tyler was talking about his mission in the Venezuela Mountains and how he had set up a non-profit organisation for the people there when he got back. There's something about him.. something different, or perhaps not different so much as familiar or similar to myself. I'm not sure.
They dropped me home and I slept for 20 minutes before heading up to a fireside with some of the Osmond offspring. It was really good. Some of the homies I met over the weekend were there, Drew, Mike, Clayton, Ryan, Jake, Mary. It was nice to know people again. I miss knowing everyone.
It's hard to know where to fit here because everyone is a member.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 8:08 PM
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* Dance Party USA *
Today I went to the temple... I swear it was immense. It's brilliant how I can show up no questions asked and they just let me in. I love it. I love the temple. I love life. They let me sit in the chapel for an hour and a half after doing baptisms. It was brilliant just to sit there and think about the past year and all the events and possibly all the events before that. I got thinking about my Gran and the whole baptisms for the dead ordanance and how spirits have a choice between accepting the ordanance or not. To me it's blindly obvious to accept, but I don't know the circumstances above so it might not be an easy choice. I thought about how stubborn my Gran Miller was and I got this feeling that she might not have accepted her ordances. It made me incredibly sad. I also thought about uncle John and that situation and that made me so so sad too.
I finally left the temple and waited on Trax. At the station a lady walked towards me... she was glowing... and she and I had a brief chat. We both knew each other had been in the temple... and we chatted about missions a little. Then I had to hoof it up to the institute building for a random activity. Where I remet Lisa and she introduced me to a girl called Mary whose sister is in Oxford studying.
I also met a guy called Drew who had creepy eyebrows, but it turned out he was dressed up for a hallowe'en party and that's why he looked so creepy. There was a new guy called Jake there (hot boy from Illinois) and another guy who had been out for the summer working to pay for his mission... his name was Brian. He was nice. They all were. Is it possible to meet a mean person at institute extra-curricular activities.
Drew and his friend Mike brought me to a party at a random house. It was so much fun hanging out with them. The party was a bit random and weird... and I found out it was organised by the LDS frats and sororities. Hmmm. I think I blurted out at one point that it was all nonsense. Then realised that I shouldn't say it too loud or I might get a lynching or a spanking - as i see on all the American movies about Frats.
We didn't last long at the party, during which time I ventured in to the basement where there was actual dancing. An actual dance party. Just like Charla had told me. Dancing, in a house, to music. It was incredible... and a sure sight to watch.
We boosted from the party and headed to Mike's house where the three of us just chatted for a few hours before I came home. It was nice to talk to people, about the gospel and about life. It was brilliant.
(I also met the nicest guy called Ryan who was like a large puppy dog and coined phrases like 'yeah i'm small for my age' - he was about 6 foot 5 inches or something, and a guy dressed as fries called Jarrod.)
One thing that amazed me was that Mike had a conker tree outside his house and yet had no idea what a conker was or how to play conkers. If they were made from plastic and made in China then the Americans would know all about them.
Everyone at institute seemed lost, or missing... looking for friends I suppose. It was interesting to see. There were committee members there that were mandatory and then there were loads of people without friends looking for each other I suppose. It was unusual.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 7:48 PM
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* I Miss My Car *
Today I exhausted myself. It was a different day. I arose early and was out of the house before noon. I then went in search of the institute building and discovered a trax stop right next to it.
While there I enrolled in some classes and met the nicest lady who was just super super friendly and over-happy and she just made me feel so much better about my existence. She told me about upcoming events and introduced me to a girl called Lisa who is involved with the institute presidency. Lisa in turn introduced me to a guy called Clayton who had been in England over the summer and he was just so lovely. Absolutely lovely. One of the nicest people ever. I asked him about the swimming pools in the area and it was just nice to be able to talk to someone. I mean that with no meanness whatsoever. I had just been so lonely and the second I arrived in the institute building I just felt at home. It was marvelous.
I then went in to town to find some maps of the city and of landmarks and of the trax and bus routes. Which I managed to do. While there I bumped in to Clayton yet again and it just felt so home like to meet people on the street that I knew. Such a lovely lovely guy.
I then wandered to the Gateway shopping centre where I found the Urban Outfitters shell that was being constructed for a soon opening. Excited.
There were so many festive things, lots of pumpkin smelling candles and soaps that I kept finding. I managed to also source a wireless internet connection for free where I was able to send Mike Press and email. It took me a long time to find one though, I tell you that.
I then headed home with my aching feet and watched Pretty Women while the new explosions in the sky album played over the top of it. It was an interesting experience and a lot of the music fitted with the actions and imagery.
I then watched high fidelity and went to bed. Bed bed bed.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 2:40 AM
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* Too Much Sleep *
I slept, and I slept. I just wanted to sleep. I had had enough. There was too much stress there was too much to worry about, too much to think about, too many decisions to be made and too much loneliness.
I finally dragged myself out of bed and then went for a walk to try to understand my surroundings.
The first thing I found that made me laugh was a sign informing pedestrians on how to cross the road. Accompanying the sign were some flags that could be used to increase visibility. Americans can blow up the world but yet they can't cross the road.
I walked up to the stadium and saw the most beautiful sunset ever. Right over the moutains the pink sky screamed silently as it was engulfed and smoothered with an incoming invisble darkness. The sharp edges of the moutain silhouettes were softened by the pleading nature of the pastel sky that lay around it, behind it, and on top of it. It was truely stunning.
I found the library, and attempted to hack their wireless connection to no avail. I flicked through some books and listened to some guys talk about the McDonalds Coffee-too-hot case where the lady sued. Is that still being talked about? Seriously.
I couldn't find the institute building and my legs hurt so much so I wandered home via 200South which lead me to a seven eleven, in which I found some police officers and some dark chocolate and peanut butter m&ms.
There was also a used record store. Utah's Grouchos. Where I spent some time flicking through CDs and listening to stars. I then Chatted to the guy on the desk for a while and I was sad I didn't chat longer he was lovely and quite musically interesting. I might stalk him tomorrow. He told me about a band playing. I should make myself available and go to it :):):)
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 2:22 AM
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* It's on the House *
Last night was the Caribou gig.
I spent my first say petrified. My landlord's son took me to the grocery store where I was just intimidated and very aware that I was eating up his time. I spent breakfast with Otto and then attempted to have a bath. I hate baths because they are always too hot and then you have to wait ages for them to cool. Showers are just so much faster. Given that the apartment is the attic the shower is too short even for an oompaloompa. I then went grocery shopping and spent a while trying to work out the dial up connection. Stupid dial up. Here goes my attempts to steal wireless internet. The internet should be free.
I then went to meet Farris. I walked down to the tracks, I knew they were south on 400 or something like that and I just walked west until I found a station. I was approached by a hooded figure that scared me slightly. He had red eyes and was carrying a bottle of water that had been emptied and the contents switched for something a lot stronger than water. He asked to borrow my cell phone, and after i told him it was British and wouldn't reall work (I lied, but it would be so expensive), he proceeded to talk to me for ages and ages about Scotland and Utah and he gave me his life story. Well close to it.
He was from Maryland and he was paying about $1000 a month to share a studio apartment. He managed to get in contact with old friends on myspace and one girl in particular was living in Utah with her husband and she suggested he move out here where it's a bit cheaper. So he did. He really was a nice guy. It turns out the red eyes were caused by a sty. Although he did ask if I smoked weed at one point. He gave me his number. I doubt i'll ever use it though. Nice guy called Nick.
I met Farris in temple square where we bumped in to Pauline Campbell, same old Pauline. I almost cried when I saw her though just because I had been so sad and so alone. But I knew her. I knew Farris too I suppose.
Farris was meeting a random family and so he asked if the head of the family would give me a lift to my gig. He agreed and they dropped me off at 10 to 9. The gig was supposed to start at 9, but the doors didn't even open until 9:30. I tried to make conversation with the other eager waiters, but nothing happened. I went in to the venue and after chatting to the guy on the door about the greatness of 1983, nestled myself in a booth, where I stayed during the support band.
Before locating and pitching camp at the booth I ordered a cranberry juice which I was told was on the house. That actually happens, it's not ficticious.
While sitting waiting for the bands to play there was a boy with a number 11 shirt. There was a writer who was tense and eager (and later I learned wanted to document his normal life like he was still travelling... he needed to let go of the summer). There was a hot boy with semi floppy hair, and a hat - he also wore trainer socks that reminded me of Peter Couper. There were many people. But that which outweighed the people was the cigarette smoke. In a state based on mormonism and the word of wisdom it was strange to see smoking in doors. It was as if it was a final stand or something. Even although if they banned smoking indoors it would be for health reasons and nor mormonism. Look at Britain and Ireland, look at L.A. and New York. It makes sense.
Caribou played and I stood near the front. I have never seen anything like it. There was one boy in front of me... the boy with the number 11 shirt and he had a tattoo on his arm that looked like a sun set and stick men. He was hot from the back. I totally fancied the back of his head.
Dan Snaith gave the gig his all and more. I have never seen anyone with that much passion and life before. It was truely a treat and I am so glad that I never missed it. When they played Brahminy Kite I almost died.
After the gig I had the guy on the door call me a cab and I ended up chatting to him and the randoms that I originally wanted to talk to while waiting outside in the beginning. One of them said he liked my bag. It was nice of him.
I chatted to the taxi driver and asked him where he was from. He told me here. But then I asked him where his accent was from and he told me somewhere eastern (i've forgotten), and that he had only been here for seven years. It's funny that in a country where the actual residents want to be the nationality of their ancestors the new additions are happy to be American.
I walked from the taxi to my front door with the sprinklers at my feet and the cool breeze calming down the desert streets. It was beautiful.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 1:55 AM
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* The Man With The Wooden Shoes *
Well, I almost never made it on to the plane. I was so tired, emotionally and physically, that I had decided in the three hours prior to leaving that I wasn't going.
My Mum persuaded that I should go though, and after a lot of inner turmoil I was on the plane and feeling sick. I had no time to brush my hair or even do make up. I looked just like my passport picture, minus the pink and purple hair.
I'm just scared of being here alone. It's weird.
But I was greeted at the airport by a man with wooden shoes who is German, and lovely. He and his son live in the house attached to my apartment and they fed me breakfast this morning and brought me to the store to buy some food. Food here is so expensive, it's like i'm paying how much I would in Britain, so it's all 200% of the price of home.
I've not really been outside, it's not that cold. I'm not sure if I will stay here for the entire seven weeks, I might come home early, we'll see what happens though, after Antoinette comes.
The reason I arrived yesterday was to go to a gig tonight, but I'm starting to chicken out of that, but I should go, it's the reason I'm here isn't it?
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 3:06 PM
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*Chapter One: The Packing*
The pink leopard print bag is stuffed, the pink-borrowed-from-leigh little case is stuffed. The only thing still to be packed is the 17inch Mac Daddy.
I am so scared.
Earlier today I received an email telling me that the girl I was going to be staying with could no longer pick me up, and that she was no longer moving and that she was now looking for a temporary room mate rather than a person to sub let her appartment.
This panicked me, and I did one last craigslist search and found a one bedroom apartment on the street 1111E 100S I KID YOU NOT. Is that a sign?
I'm still trying to work out if they are good signs or bad signs.
I am so tired. My flight is in 6 hours and 15 minutes and i need to be at the airport in 4 hours and 15 minutes. So it is time for me to sleep I think.
This is it. My iPod is charging and I will have theme tunes and mantras.
The new place that I might be staying might not have internet connection... Whatever will I do? But we will see. I might pick up a neighbour's wireless or something fingers crossed.
The guy who I might be renting from is called Otto. He is either German or Dutch. He told me that he will be wearing wooden shoes and a blue cap. I hope this works out alright. I am so scared. Ahhh. I can't wait for Toni to come too. Oh yes.
But here we go. For seven weeks 51 days, let's see what happens.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 11:36 AM
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Prologue.
I leave in 3 more sleeps. I am scared to say the least. Nervous. Anxious. Aprehensive.
Seven Weeks. Starting in Utah on the 23rd of October 2007 and ending in Newark International Airport on the 11th of December 2007. What happens inbetween those two dates is entirely open and abiguous.
Bring it on.
posted by: Vikki Miller @ 8:43 PM
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